Calling all angels...

Off in the distance I see small headlights, barely a glint...I was called to the window here on my island by the cackle of a crow at just before midnight. It was over my shoulder as I sat to write...My brother, Donny since passing over, drops reminders often if I ask, crows and songs mostly will delight my heart time and time again. It has been this way since a month or less after he made his way home. He is at peace, I know this with conviction.

Sacred, this Life. Never have I felt so vulnerable or pained before and I stumble to pray often now. I feel as though I have laid my heart before the Lord bloody and battered. Never before have I been in a place where I have been called upon to show 100% pure Faith, never. I am rigid and aching inside at the deafening and twisted irony that has been handed down.

I Love you God with all my heart, I pray for your mercy and with great humility for a miracle. Great Love is loving someone more than you love yourself and have that mirrored back to you...God's Unity is celebrated daily, hour by hour. "As it was in the beginning it will be in the end"

I shall trust your will as I know you are a just and loving God.

Oh Afrika...how you call to me

Life has been good to me. GOD has been good to me...the pain I have endured and the true suffering I have known have created who I am. The relinquishing of power is one a process and two an elevated state. Watching one's body age is a grueling and yet soothing place to find yourself is it not...bittersweet and sweet nonetheless.

This "elevated state" I speak of feeds and nourishes the soul, making the lines on my face blur into simply the witnesses they are to all I have known. I will catch a sparkle in my own eyes now that didn't exist before now. I greet each silvery white hair, I am going to attempt to befriend it and let it come...I don't feel the need to "hide" anything anymore. This huge gift, I am enjoying comes at a cost...bravery of heart. It's a great deal...this writer believes

The Joy I feel from the touch of my Husband to that of a beautiful and nurturing phone conversation with my fully grown and astonishing Daughter. These are only two examples of what jumpstart my tired heart in the course of everyday life. EVERY DAY LIFE...yes we have this every day...life. Every day breaks down to every moment, live them.

Just one morning brought news of two deaths today. The word mindful that is my friend is clearly and inevitably a double edged sword. It's HIS plan, HIS orchestration...we must embrace it all, drop for drop. Or stand in denial of it all in a state of deprivation.

I will choose bravery of heart, he has more in store for me...I feel it.

God I Love you, bring it on...you have left me with the preparation I need when I pray for fortitude and acceptance.

Wishing you moments, fully lived.

Malaika...yes feelin Malaika today. ;)