Feeling her fury shake my house while my heart is quivering along with my lip tonight...The Nor'easter that is covering our island with her white cold is seemingly disregarding our presence as the wind attempts to wipe us away. It is scary but truth be told it is energizing my being while we shake together, she and I. Nothing is as scary as the uncertainties lately.
This terrifying ground my loving husband and I find our self on has been much the same these past few weeks. We both saw his obvious progress and were like giddy kids,celebrating and simply enjoying our reprieve.
The last small handful of days we've seen some initially worrisome and now disappointing signs that this beast is determined to leave my beloved feeling battered...
My Faith and I wrestle a bit daily and yet I cling to God, my Father, as I know he is my source of strength now and forever. This furious wind will NOT break down the strong walls built on the concrete foundation that holds it safely in place. In that same way the tumultuous force that attempts to ravage my soul or dampen our spirits, will NOT.
For now I leave you...prayers always welcomed and deeply appreciated.
In Light and Love,
Sharon
Truth and all that it offers is worth every tear ever shed due to it's impact. I am learning that the more I embrace truth, the more empowered I become. The value of life can not be measured by one that has not lived it.
Acceptance is not resignation, people have difficulty with this concept... I fumble to explain it even though it is my soul's "mode" during these trying times. I find I am comfortable and keenly aware in this state so I will elaborate.
My husband is "ill", we acknowledge this as "fact" in a scientific sense and fight fiercely the beast that threatens us. What we choose to accept as our "truth" does not coincide with any "diagnosis" however and this is not to be mistaken for denial by any means.
One can not accept something and deny it, it becomes moot. We accept that the body shows a condition we do not and will not resign ourselves to as a conclusion unless it becomes known to us as such.
We refuse to be reduced to statistics. I say "our" because this beautiful man I married was sent to me because I had prepared myself just as he had...we have work to do. We are ourselves now that we are together, simply put.
I was blessed today in a most extraordinary way, it breathed life into me in a way only God can.
People under exceptional circumstances can bridge a gap for others in a rather profound way, I know this first hand.
This will get tricky for you as a reader if you did not start at the beginning of the blog as I suggested in the header...time has become so valuable you see that I can not back-track if you will, at this point.
Sob Back to bridging the gap...I have had the gift of being a vessel through which a loved one has reached out to someone here in this life with a message. There was a time when it was a far larger part of me than it has been for quite a while, sadly. To remain in a place where this occurs or anything related to it even, requires solitude and prayer for me...often for many, many hours. Being newly married and having an eight year old child to raise as lovely as that is will infringe on privacy never mind solitude!
My husband suffers that same fate and I know he too misses his solitude often, we are working on it. There is so much that is good about finding real love with your soul's mate this late in the game....much of it is being able to trust that you have each others needs truly at heart and we do.
I apologize for wandering off...my mind and heart are still settling in with the events of the day.
I sat today with a very sick friend that means the world to me. We sat hand in hand and there was a profound connecting that took place as we indulged in some very real discussion. I am forever changed and I know she is as well. Everyone of us that was there today as a small group was connected and elevated to a place one has a rare opportunity to visit.
I have spoken before of what I see as a veil, today the veil was thin and a deep desire coupled with a pure heart was the only price of admission beyond that veil. I have missed this state more than I had realized, I am brought to tears yet again as I realize this. Today the tables had turned and I was on the receiving end of information, I was the one being comforted by loved ones on the other side. My beautiful friend was the vessel or the earth angel, Spiritual warrior... whatever term you prefer.
Life is so much more poignant and precious when you are able to accept that we really are all very much connected regardless of the where's or the how's.
I know this is a lot for many to swallow, I only offer it up with the deepest respect and the hope that it is accepted in the manor in which it is meant. It is in the beginning and in the end all about the love that connects us, always. I was blessed to see a silvery cord between two people that shared a profound love, what a gift that was all by itself. My friend's husband is clearly her soulmate and I thank them for what I was able to witness. I am blessed and honored.
If you are still reading, I ask you to please pray for my friend and her family, pray for my husband and I and then spend some real time praying for yourself. Pray that your heart opens itself up to receive love from all plateaus. When it is pure love it comes from many a source.
As always I send you love and I send you light,
Sharon...
Nakupenda,
Malaika~
