Never in my wildest dreams would I have believed this could happen...I move here to this island to marry my soul mate, this man that makes me the very best version of me and now he is gone...my heart is in tatters and every day I have to throw all of me behind myself to get through the day. I have had a tumultuous few weeks where I thought we had found a new home, a refuge from this surreal environment where we do not belong and are being pushed from. This place that was warm and meant love and a new beginning. I had embraced this new place we were invited to move into, it was going to be a warm home where everyone supported one another and provided a safe cushion against the harshness of this world. I think my heart actually sang and my soul rested easy for the first time since I lost Bobby...
Tonight I received the heart breaking call that this was not to be, minds were changed for reasons I will never know. I now have an eight year old that wants to know WHY God hates us...I held her shoulders and begged her eyes to meet mine...they did eventually and I told her we are the blessed ones, there is nothing that can hurt us as long as we cling to him, PRAY to him and KNOW he will not allow anything bad to happen to us.
She cried as I held her and told her she had every right to be sad but that it was all going to be okay. I told her that I am 100% sure all will be well and not to worry.
So now, hours later I ask myself...is it? Is it Lord? Is it going to be okay? Is this what you want for us...
I shall pray, I shall cling,I shall talk with my Lord tonight
Psalm 52;8
But I am like an olive tree,thriving in the house of God. I trust in Gods unfailing love forever and ever
