I am melting..

I feel as though I am being hollowed out..as if a force far outside myself is walking me through a dance. This is a dance that was choreographed long ago...I am familiar and yet it's pain feels like it must be new for whom would ever consent to such pain...that is all I can say right now. I am short of breath even in print.


God Bless us all for we fight the battle together, it is our shared responsibility...there is no room for conflict between us.  The worldly pain shall not have their flames fanned...


Peace and Love and Light,


Nakupenda ,
 Malaika

Africa...

Amazingly I succeeded at one of the most important things I have ever done. I supported, loved and comforted my husband as he left this earth for his heavenly home...yet I feel so insignificant, like I barely exist...like a failure. I have been deserted by many and am lost in a no mans land...


It IS time to totally re-evaluate...there is a lesson, a life lesson here for me.  If money is consistantly the issue that dictates such misery, I need to take money out of the picture. My one dream, the one place my soul is most comfortable imagining as home is Africa.


Work real work, work that matters is awaiting me...Doc please bring me good news.

dear God..REALLY

 Wow..I am certainly in a place of heavy duty contemplation and prayer.

My friend, Doc  ;) has relit the pilot on my Africa state of mind. 

"WHY NOT?" and then ever so gently.."I'm sorry to say but it

may be now that your husband is gone it is time to reclaim your dream, Africa"

I will be going within..I pray I can keep our home stable during this important time.

Happy Chanuka and a Rich Kwanza...and soon a Merry CHRISTmas...love to all, peace for the world over is held as a dream deep in my heart...

IF this is your first time reading, you owe it to yourself to go back and read at least the BIO: or the first few posts ;)