Strip away the worldly...

Right up until the time Jesus died on the cross he was clear and resolute, he had no fear. Not only was he without fear but he willingly took the cross when he could easily have asked his Holy Father to intervene. As I grow in my Faith there is a push pull that occurs sometimes it starts out subtly other times, I don't have a minute to think...my Faith is put to the test . My blind and unqualified acceptance of this process is an integral part of defining what Faith actually means to me. Saying the Lord is my beginning, my end and everything in between is one thing. Saying that my love and reverence for him is the single most important ingredient in my life is still yet another. Alas without action and courage these words ring hollow. In following my God I must take responsibility for my actions not only toward another but toward myself as well as the world as a whole. This is what God expects of me and it is, at times incredibly hard. As the entire world spirals downward with such swiftness it is nearly impossible to avoid it's pull completely, my convictions must remain strong and every bit as resolute as that of Jesus. When I kneel and pray at night I pour out my heart, every trespass whether against me or perpetrated by me I give to God with deep sadness and remorse. The fact that I know he will not turn his back on me regardless of my transgressions often humbles me to the point of tears. This love for my Father is far beyond what I knew one could feel. It colors my entire world and lets me know all things are possible through him. I am in this human vessel full of imperfections by his design, this I know. Learning to hold my head high and trust myself has been a long time coming and encompasses a life time's worth of lessons. Only when I surrendered to the Lord in total Faith knowing that anything put in my Path is put there to either test or reward me and that the two are synonymous...only in this have I found peace. I thank him for the trials as I thank him for the rewards. Yes, today's world is harsh and it is equally twisted as well. Reality TV has become an obsession and the churches are near empty and many are even closing. THIS is a very frightening reality. This is a world in need of love and yet wars are waged often due to greed and ego carrying all kinds of elaborate excuses and disguises. Peace and kindness are seemingly hard to come by. I make it a point as I have mentioned before to be a foot soldier for Christ rather than to give in to this apathy that permeates the thread of communities. So the personal tests come and they go much like the tide and I often feel the swiftness of what feels like a massive ocean wave. When I choose to fight this powerful force it is like that of scraping against sharp rock and blinding sand...when I let go and let the roll of the wave carry me, trusting the Lord I soon find I have been brought to the surface for air as the wave uncurls and calms as promised. It is not always this simple, there are times I falter, times I am tempted but for me there is no turning back now. I can turn things around again and again in my head even making what I know is wrong seemingly right, this is Satans snare and I know it. Often times my beloved Father will even throw a gentle reminder my way...most recently it was a gentle little ladybug that landed just above my heart while inside there was a battle waging. My eyes now see and Ican not look away from my Fathers gentle guidance. Every day these private battles wage some are won and then there are those that are lost. As difficult as it is, I choose to do my very best to remain steadfast and true to the Lord that has loved me so. As his child I have had every opportunity to succeed and every opportunity to fail, my success has been a gift to him, my failures as well for they brought me to my knees where he has surely witnessed and wiped away my tears. I am indescribably grateful to bring it ALL to him now as he is forever my loving and forgiving Father. It is with this strength of spirit and love for him I venture forth each day for now in the city and later in Africa if he see's fit. It is a wonderful feeling to know I can strip it all away,worldly goods that weigh me down and distract me from what is important. I have decided to get deep into Bible study and see where that takes me. Through prayer and with open ears and eyes as well as a fully open heart I am being urged to "root" for a bit longer until my path is crystal clear. Readying my mind and disciplining myself further will make me more prepared and also enable me to bring more teaching to this project that I see in my head every day, yes the colors are every bit as vibrant and the lovely Duma still calls to me as well. Project Shepherd, Project Maji and more lie ahead... Mimi nakupenda as always, Malaika~ Teach me your decrees O Lord; I will keep them until the end. Give me understanding and I will obey your instructions; I will put them into practice with all my heart. Make me walk along the path of your commands, for that is where my happiness is found. give me an eagerness for your decrees; do not inflict me with love for money! Turn my eyes from worthless things and give me life through your word. help me abandon my shameful ways; your laws are all I want in life. Psalm 119: 33-37, 39