Is this real...?

For every lucid moment I am gifted with there is a moment of sorrow so deep I watch my skin to see if it will pierce me somewhere...how can it not, I ponder...how can it not. 


Some of you know some of you don't, my Beloved husband succumbed to a hateful liver affliction two weeks ago today. Part of me died that day...




I am at once trying to suspend time and throw myself into the future, I am at a place to write in...the chill is nearly enough to validate the ache in my bones that is stoked by the eery liquid sadness in my heart, a dark pocket in me wants it to simply stop beating...to catch up to the soul in me. 


Surely our souls can not ever be separated, this is incomprehensible to me, I refuse to believe it. 


I want his company, I want him to whisper to me. I know one day it will happen and I will have that little bit back again. There was the day...the day was as sad as it was perfect. 


The angels came for my husband and we said our goodbyes as soft, private and forever as one could ever possibly dream of...


I will revisit this tender place it is within me at all times, tonight I am drained. 


Let me just close by saying I have very big plans for the future...my path lays before me and I will step back on it.  


Maji and a few close friends that we believe God has brought together and I have begun the  creation of a healthy Faith, Love and healing based retreat, { full yoga program as included well by a certified Yogini }  all set in the mountains of New Hampshire. 


He is working through me as he is strengthening my Faith and for all of it I acknowledge his blessings...Lord do with me as you wish, I am here...




Nakupenda




Malaika~ 

Love and Light always...